What About Your Friends?
- Jul 2, 2019
- 2 min read
Updated: Aug 20, 2019
A wise man once said "Show me who your friends are and I'll tell you who you are." There was a time when I disagreed. I believed that friends weren't required to share common interests, beliefs or similar mindsets. Throughout the years, I've thought more about the meaning of friendship and knew my relationships needed a change. I weeded out the miserable, the jealous, the mean and the insecure. My circle became (very) small but I chose quality over quantity.
Be the kind of friend you want to have.
To have a friend, you have to be a friend. It's a two-way street and those who DON'T understand that are the toughest people to be friends with. Friendships (much like relationships) are about RECIPROCITY. It must be mutually beneficial. You can't expect a friend to listen to incessant complaints and problems ALL the time. Practice lending your ear a little more often.
Friendships change over time.
I don't talk to my best friends every day and I don't see them very often. Our lives are busy. School, work, careers, husbands....LIFE. It's not mandatory that we keep in constant communication and it doesn't change the strength of our relationships. When we get together, it's like we never missed a beat!
Focus on the way a friendship feels, not what it looks like.
ASK YOURSELF:
Do I feel better after spending time with this person?
Am I 100% myself around this person?
Do I feel secure, or do I feel like I have to watch what I say and do?
Is the person supportive and am I treated with respect?
Can I be vulnerable around this person? Is this someone I can trust?
I never understood when I heard people say: "I don't need friends." - We do. Whether you and I admit it or not, we need people. We need those connections, we need dialogue, we need to vent our frustrations, we need support and encouragement. Life can be tough. Find your people. And hold on to them.
Cherish the friendships that you have and know that it's never too late to make new ones (despite what Drake says! #NoNewFriends- lol). Focus on the laughter you share and the memories you've made! Let those friends know how grateful you are for them and how much they mean in your life. And most importantly, don't be afraid to let go of toxic people and friendships.
XoXo,
Kenn
(Of course I'm adding a photo of my BFFs!! Shantay & DeOndra. Love you girls!)
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